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(The Borowitz Report) – Queen Elizabeth II is moving to Canada “immediately” and should take up full-time residence there by the end of the week, Buckingham...
t starts off like any other PSA until one of the speakers says in exasperation, “my breasts….are down here!” “Do you think I’m wearing this bra...
Prince Harry will marry American Meghan Markle on May 19. The VE provides all the important details you need to know about the royal wedding. Q:...
After the slowest moving romance in TV history, Sheldon Cooper is about to make an honest woman in Amy Farrah-Fowler. And the Vatican Enquirer has it...
Women who remain die-hard feminists well into adulthood are oftentimes the least desirable specimens, science now claims. “The only relationships they have are often ones with...
“Shit, shit, fucking shit, stupid asshole, it’s all wrong,” scientist Stephen Hawking said this morning when he discovered himself walking and with the vitality of his...
PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report)—Kim Jong Un has revealed to close associates that he has offered to meet Donald J. Trump only as a means of achieving...
For more than a century art historical experts have labelled a painting Queen Victoria bought as a Christmas present for Prince Albert a 19th-century fake. But...
VATICAN CITY—Bringing the tragic story of his righteous sacrifice to life, recently canonized martyr Salomone Leclercq on Friday was added to the Vatican Museum’s Animatronic Hall...
Former President Barack Obama is expected to re-emerge on the national political scene this fall, looking to become the leader of the House when Democrats take...
BOSTON—Recently shit canned White House Communications Director Anthony Goddamned Scaramucci is set to return to the national fuckin’ spotlight as Dick’s Last Resort has announced that...
(AMP) VATICAN CITY – Consuming a record 87 pancakes in under 20 minutes, Pope Francis has retained his championship title for the fourth year in a...
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