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CEO Of Tesla Motors Replaced By Robot

robot_tesla_elon_musk-257x164VATICAN ENQUIRER – In a surprising move, Tesla Motors removed Elon Musk as CEO this morning and replaced him with a highly intelligent robot.

In a statement posted on its website, the pioneering electric car company thanked Musk for his years of service, but told investors that a more efficient executive has been found.

The robot’s name is Mark Calaway. He was developed internally at Tesla in hopes of creating a more intelligent crash-test dummy. But researchers soon discovered that Calloway could perform other, more complex tasks better than humans.

In the two short months since being activated, Calloway has risen up the ranks all the way to COO, and has recently been running most of Tesla’s executive meetings. One Tesla board member says its choice was obvious as the robot is “‘superior in every way” to a human chief executive

The board did not inform Musk, who learned of his predicament when his identification card no longer unlocked the front door and all his office belongings sat outside on the curb.

“I got outsmarted,” Musk told Forbes magazine. “Don’t know how the robot did it, but it did. I told you stuff like this would happen. Artificial intelligence (AI) isn’t the future, it’s the present. Now I’m out of Tesla Motors and Mark the robot is in.

“If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone. All I can do is hang on to my spaceship company and hope the rockets don’t blow up or I get replaced by another robot. If it can happen once, it can happen again.”

Musk made his first fortune as a co-founder of PayPal, the online payment service that was eventually sold to online bidding website eBay. Rather than retire young, he used his cash to start Tesla and Space X, his groundbreaking space transportation firm.

Musk and other Silicon Valley CEOs have created the threats that artificial intelligence pose to humans. These fears have not stopped Musk from investing in AI start-ups.

(Via Dailycurrant.com)

“I’ll be rethinking my investment strategy,” he said. “I went from being Iron Man to just Man. I guess Mark is the new Iron Man.”

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Latin America

Tesla’s Unplanned Launch of Driverless Car in Latin America Has Many Worried

Roberto Rodriguez is a worried man. Never in the past decade has he driven his car without abusing fellow drivers or getting into a scuffle with motorcyclists or pedestrians. All this because of the traffic condition in his city.

Rodriguez has written to Elon Musk, the owner of Tesla, asking if the driverless car will provide him any help in the fight on the roads or will the fight be all by himself as has been the case up to now.

Elon Musk is a busy man, but he will have to address this as soon as possible if a launch in Latin America is to be successful.

There is news coming in that a top-level meeting was called to address Shwetank’s concern and seems like Shwetank has really pushed forward India’s concern in a very effective way.

Women drivers will also be affected by the driverless car

The concern of Rodriguez is the promise made by Musk that a completely automated Tesla will be available by the end of 2018. And Musk delivers on what he promises.

Though no announcement has been made for a Latin America launch, Rodriguez and others are worried that the new type of car soon to be on the roads will alter their driving habits.

“Venting in traffic is like therapy to me. When I get home I am refreshed, got it all out of my system, you know the stress of work, the girlfriend … I am like a new man when I get home to my wife and kids,” said Rodriguez.

In fact, a recent study by the University of Argentina in Buenos Aires showed that road rage has helped reduce domestic violence. Researched Juanes Alpizar said that the numbers (of domestic violence reports) are way down, more than imagined.

Could a driverless car contribute to rising domestic violence? Alpizar answered honestly that he doesn’t know the answer to that. But if Rodriguez’s experience is any indication, it has many worried. Worried that the driverless car will not allow drivers to distress themselves and will take it out on their loved ones once they get home.

 

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E-mail Strike Looming In Canada

Canadian emails will come to a complete halt if a looming strike becomes a reality. The internet consortium said a strike will not affect international emails and warned against email scabs.

Canadian emails will come to a complete halt if a looming strike becomes a reality. The internet consortium said a strike will not affect international emails and warned against email scabs.

From the Vatican Enquirer – Direct from a page of Canada’s postal strikes, the Canadian internet consortium announced a pending e-mail strike.

Internet users across the country have been warned not to send any emails once the strike begins, as email servers around the country will either shut down completely or operate at a snail mails pace.

Negotiations are underway to avoid the strike, but sources close to the Vatican Enquirer (VE) said they sides are too far apart and a strike is inevitable.

Results of online polls are in favour of a strike, 99% of the respondents say they support the movement.

It is unclear why the strike is being called or its objective. “It’s a Canadian thing”, posted a user on the social media. Another said, “it’s aboot time, eh!”.

Experts are recommending to send all your emails before the strike, and even suggesting counseling if the strike runs into hours (like eons in Internet time).

“With this clear mandate our members have demonstrated they are in full support of their bargaining committees, and our direction in this set of negotiations,” said the head of the Canadian email strike committee, ironically through an official email.

The internet union has warned against e-mail scabs.

The Internet Consortium made it clear the strike will only affect Canadian emails,  international emails in will continue to flow in and out mailboxes on computers across the country.

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Apple Accused of Plagiarizing Jesus For Water Resistant iPhone

coverjesus

The U.S. company is accused of plagiarizing Jesus for the waterproof iPhone

(Vatican Enquirer) First it was Melania Trump copying from a speech by Michelle Obama at the Republican convention, then it was the scandal that aired on Aristegui News about Mexico President Enrique Peña Nieto’s plagiarism in his university thesis, and now it turns out Apple did quite a bit of plagiarizing itself with one of the features of its newly introduced iPhone.

Tim Cook, head of Apple Inc. on Wednesday in San Francisco presented the world with its iPhone 7 that is resistant to water, a decision that could send the company into bankruptcy.

Minutes after the presentation, several priests were outraged because they believe the company stole the ‘water-resistant’ idea from Jesus and will be taking action on the matter.

“We all read the Bible and know Jesus walked on water. The waterproofing of its new phone is completely copied. It’s a shame they did not give the credit to the Lord, making us believe it their own creation. They will have to pay for the plagiarism and our lawyers have already started working on that,” an upset priest told the Vatican Enquirer.

A legal expert told the VE that if the suit is successful it could ruin the company. “I would not plagiarize anything from a person like Jesus, nobody knows what he might do,” said the expert.

Nobody at Apple is commenting on the harsh indictment. Nor has there been an ‘official’ statement from the Vatican.

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