Connect with us

World News

Costa Rica Concessions Guanacaste to Nicaragua!

  • Deal still needs “official” approval
  • CEO of CINE POLO brokered the deal

edificio-05-controlroomDisclaimer: The following article is purely fictional, a satire/parody, made up, a complete fabrication, not even remotely close to being the truth, purely the work of a twisted and demented mind, not to be believed…like everything on this website!

In a back alley meeting between low level ranking government officials, Costa Rica has given Nicaraguan concession rights over Guanacaste in a histerical deal. The deal was brokered by the desperate  CEO of CINE POLO.

The Q was able to confirm that the meeting literally took place in the back alley of downtown San José hotel – the name of the hotel is being withheld to protect the guilty.

The Q learned that it was clear that the Costa Rican officials would not give in to the threats of Daniel Ortega, the president of Nicaragua and his claim for the prosperous Costa Rica province of Nicaragua. However, the Tico maes proposed the the idea of a concession to their counterparts, who were said to reply, “pues!”.

According to the totally non-reliable source, the CEO that has been filling the airwaves with his desperate attempts to revive his fledgling movie theatre chain against competition, an agreement was reach after parties saw the “win-win” of the situation: Nicaragua would get its beloved Guanacaste back (as it would be understand by the people as its government will explain it to them) and Costa Rica would get a residual (concession fee) payment without having to give up territory.

cinepolo-atreve1

Looking at some of the positive points, many Costa Ricans would now be able to fulfill the desire of “international travel” and Nicaraguans in Costa Rica would not have to go too far to visit their homeland.

With this deal the leaders of both countries can save face. Daniel Ortega, president of Nicaragua, can how tell his people he finally got Guanacaste back stolen from them by the Ticos, while Laura Chinchilla, president of Costa Rica, can stay true to her word that Guanacaste will always be part of Costa Rica.

The deal now needs the approval of higher ups and a meeting of the two leaders.

But, as in all negotiations, there is a snag.

The Nicas want the Parque La Merced or “Nica park” in the heart of downtown San José. The objective here is for Nicaragua to develop a Nica cultural centre, that will include the sale of tourist packages to the Nicaraguan concession departamento (province) of Guanacaste.

Leave your vote

Stomped Tomato is a curious satirical newspaper offering breaking news, political satire, comedy, investigative journalism, opinion and celebrity news. Tomate pisoteado.

Politics

Joe Biden Replaces Trump’s Infamous Diet Coke Button With A Freestyle Machine

STOMPED TOMATO – Of the many of President Joe Biden’s points of business on his first day was to Diet Coke button with a Freestyle machine.

Now former President Donald Trump became fascinated with the little red button sitting on his desk in the oval office. Whenever Trump pressed it, and a valet swiftly brought in a Diet Coke on a silver platter.

“Freestyle machines are genius. One of the very greatest inventions of our modern times,” Suzie on Twitter.

While many applauded Biden’s decision, some, however, feel the freestyle machines are terrible and the president should get a fountain machine.

It is not clear what happened to the box with the red button. But what of the valet?

Sources told ST that the valet is undergoing training to make the machine is always fully stocked with soda.

 

Leave your vote

Continue Reading

People

Daughter finds out her uncle is her dad’s brother

STOMPED TOMATO – A growing trend in the online world are stories of family dynamics changing drastically with uncovered family relationships, such as the daughter who found that her uncle is really her father’s brother.

What will this do to the family dynamic? Reddit

Another commented that he was in a similar situation, but different, not too long along when he found that his aunt is really his mother’s sister.

“The entire family freaked out,” writes M.

Fortunately, there are a few things that could be done to preserve your family’s chemistry and dynamic.

Family dynamics can really be screwed. Take the case of a B and his wife’s family situation. B writes, “Her mom and aunt both married brothers. So my wife’s uncle (now deceased) was actually her uncle twice over. He was her uncle because her mom’s sister married him, and he was her uncle because her dad was his brother. For that matter, her aunt is also her aunt twice over.”

R writes, “I know exactly how the feeling. I just found out that my brother is my baby’s uncle, and my brother’s children are my child’s cousins. Obviously, this is a confusing time for everyone and we are navigating it as best as we can.”

A has an equally challenging situation, she writes: I just found out that my mom is actually the one who gave birth to me, and that my grandmother is actually my mom’s mom and I’m so confused and worried like what this will do I don’t know if I can see them in the same way now…”

This is very serious. This kind of experience can cause long lasting trauma.

One recommendation is to log off the internet, obviously, these people have way too much time on their hands. For those who can’t log off, you can help improve your family dynamic by going on Amazon and order lots of self-help books.

Luckily there are many treatments for this ailment being experimented with.

Leave your vote

Continue Reading

Politics

WHO congratulates Donald Trump for having carried out a coup without leaving home

While a lot of countries and international organizations condemned Wednesday’s riots in the United States Capitol, the Wordly Health Organization congratulated President Donald Trump for acting responsibly in the midst of a historic pandemic, for staging a coup from home.

Given the warnings of health authorities not to go out, Mr Trump decided maintain social distancing and stay at home to try to overturn the 2020 presidential elections.

“We are pleasantly surprised at  responsibility that Donald Trump took need to the stay at home measures by the WHO during the events on Capitol Hill on January 7, 2021,” said the organization in a statement.

In a statement of his own, Donald Trump said that he preferred to stay at home, “where I can see them from the comfort of my home, than to do it out there with who knows who”.

Leave your vote

Continue Reading

Trending

close

Log In

Forgot password?

Forgot password?

Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password.

Your password reset link appears to be invalid or expired.

Log in

Privacy Policy

Add to Collection

No Collections

Here you'll find all collections you've created before.