Connect with us


CP24 To Broadcast Entirely Without Audio

cp24news(VATICAN ENQUIRERE) TORONTO Local broadcaster CP24 has announced that, beginning next week, it will air all broadcasts with no sound or noise of any kind.

“We noticed in our audience research that the vast majority of viewers were watching our program entirely muted anyway, so this just seemed like the logical step,” said Bell Media president Mary Ann Turcke as CP24’s multi-streamed news cacophony silently glared from a screen in the bar where she was taking her lunch break.

“Like most people, I had only watched it in silence from whatever dentist office or subway platform I happened to be frequenting. When I finally did listen to it unmuffled I was horrified. What the anchors were talking about had nothing to do with anything written on the screen.”

The network said the benefit of such a move will include reduced costs, less awkward banter between hosts, and increased odds of landing politicians for high-profile interviews now that talking will not be required.

Employees said they were looking forward to the change.

“Management doesn’t want to compromise CP24’s trademark visual style, so we’ll still be there silently mouthing at the screen to make sure that the channel’s elegant feel is maintained,” said anchor and bowtie platform Stephen LeDrew. “For those lip readers paying attention, I’ll be mouthing a series of delicious soup recipes to try at home.”

Turcke already knows how she will invest the savings from the channel’s silencing. “We need to think of the future,” she said. “It’ll all be going towards a new ticker, taking us up to twelve!”

At press time, have you heard about that fun spring fair at Cedarvale elementary?


Leave your vote

Stomped Tomato is a curious satirical newspaper offering breaking news, political satire, comedy, investigative journalism, opinion and celebrity news. Tomate pisoteado.


influencers complain because they no longer know what to live on

Influencers have again come out to complain because they are losing the shine of their luxurious lives, due to the coronavirus covid-19 pandemic, they can no longer travel, nor take photos of their food in public places or their famous selfies.

Influencers need to be helped.

Or something like that, is what some influencers wanted to say in a very interesting report from the BBC, and since we are very good vibes, we are going to summarize it completely.

But first, let’s see what the YosStop is doing in full quarantine:

Well, now it is really interesting …

A few days ago, some influencers of the greatest size (or something like that) in the world, have been complaining and complaining in the media because they can no longer leave their homes, and when they do leave, they do not generate videos or photos or content from which they all always do the same: what if the little trip, what if the coffee in Italy, what if the photo that everyone takes in France, etc, etc, etc.


View this post on Instagram


Ayer fui #Bowie para tiktok ????

A post shared by C͟͟I͟͟N͟͟T͟͟H͟͟Y͟͟A͟͟ (@lenguasdegato) on

This type of content is profitable, that is, with each photo and video that they generate, YouTube gives them some coin as well as the brands with which they come out dressed, made up or subtly thrown together.

Leave your vote

Continue Reading


Sheldon And Amy To Honeymoon in Costa Rica

After the slowest moving romance in TV history, Sheldon Cooper is about to make an honest woman in Amy Farrah-Fowler. And the Vatican Enquirer has it that the TV couple have chosen Costa Rica for their honeymooning.

Sources close to the couple revealed that the couple will be flying from Los Angeles directly to the Guanacaste airport for an all-inclusive two week’s vacation at an undisclosed beach hotel.

The source would not reveal the exact date, but most likely would be May 12. The newlyweds are expected to head off to the airport on Saturday, resting up on Friday after the pair’s big day that to airs on CBS on Thursday (May 10), the 11th season finale of The Big Bang Theory.

Leave your vote

Continue Reading


Mario is no longer a plumber

Mario is done being a plumber. Princess Peach is going to have to find a new plumber to call the next time her toilet gets clogged.

According to Nintento, the world’s famour plumber is now an “All around sporty”.

Whether it’s tennis or baseball, soccer or car racing, Mario does everything cool.

What we don’t know the reason behind Mario’s career change after 34 years of plumbib. We don’t if Mario was fired, retired or shut plain tired of being a plumber and needed something new. A source not to close to the VE said Mario is going through a mid-life crisis and will really miss his brother, Luigi, who has been rumoured to carry on the family plumbing business.

Leave your vote

Continue Reading



Log In

Forgot password?

Forgot password?

Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password.

Your password reset link appears to be invalid or expired.

Log in

Privacy Policy

Add to Collection

No Collections

Here you'll find all collections you've created before.