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Donald Trump News Coverage to Include “Viewer Discretion” Warnings in Canada

Donald-Trump-Canadian-Flag-SizedVATICAN ENQUIRER, NEW YORK — Canada’s three largest broadcasters have begun dealing with Donald Trump in a way that many American networks only wish they could.

CBC, CTV, and Global Television announced today that they have taken the unprecedented step of warning viewers that news clips of Trump “may contain exaggerations or outright fibs”.

The move was driven by the networks receiving thousands of complaints that Mr. Trump is a “lying nutter with a gassy ego” according to Troy Reeb, Vice President of News at Global.

May contain outright fibs? Ha! We wanted to say “contains utter bull shite” but we couldn’t get that approved,” said Reeb.

“Our fact checkers were splitting their sides laughing but every once in a while they would catch their breaths and tell us we had to warn viewers that Mr. Trump is a ranting bigot who makes up 90% of everything he says. More than 90% actually.




“So we tagged Mr. Trump as a wing nut and a wanker.”

“But we’re not making judgmental comments on the U.S. election at all. We’re just alerting our viewers that Donald Trump is bloody bonkers.”

The on-screen and announcer-read warnings began appearing on newscasts this morning and the wording is very Canadian in style:

“Hey. Sorry to interrupt your viewing. The following contains material that could not be verified as even a wee bit true. It also contains bullying that may be offensive and damned annoying to some. Viewer discretion is advised. Thank you and have a nice day.”

Phil King, President of CTV Programming, said his company considered moving Trump news to an entertainment or sports show but ultimately decided that would be jarring and unfair to those viewers.

“Mr. Trump is a total white-arse isn’t he? For me personally, the last straw was him telling “real Americans” to call the police on any new neighbours they don’t like the looks of,” said King.


Trump took to Twitter twice today in response to the Canadian broadcasters’ Viewer Discretion move:

@realDonaldTrump. I see Canadian news stations @CTVNews, @CBCNews, @Global_Television are out to get me. Who cares? Are they Communists or just Socialists? Bernie Sanders should move there.”

@realDonaldTrump. My reply to @CBCNews question: “I tried to phone your new guy @JustinTrudeau to tell him I could make Canada great again too but he wouldn’t take my call. Not going to say anything bad about him though. But he’s sure pretty.”


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Stomped Tomato is a curious satirical newspaper offering breaking news, political satire, comedy, investigative journalism, opinion and celebrity news. Tomate pisoteado.


Joe Biden Replaces Trump’s Infamous Diet Coke Button With A Freestyle Machine

STOMPED TOMATO – Of the many of President Joe Biden’s points of business on his first day was to Diet Coke button with a Freestyle machine.

Now former President Donald Trump became fascinated with the little red button sitting on his desk in the oval office. Whenever Trump pressed it, and a valet swiftly brought in a Diet Coke on a silver platter.

“Freestyle machines are genius. One of the very greatest inventions of our modern times,” Suzie on Twitter.

While many applauded Biden’s decision, some, however, feel the freestyle machines are terrible and the president should get a fountain machine.

It is not clear what happened to the box with the red button. But what of the valet?

Sources told ST that the valet is undergoing training to make the machine is always fully stocked with soda.


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WHO congratulates Donald Trump for having carried out a coup without leaving home

While a lot of countries and international organizations condemned Wednesday’s riots in the United States Capitol, the Wordly Health Organization congratulated President Donald Trump for acting responsibly in the midst of a historic pandemic, for staging a coup from home.

Given the warnings of health authorities not to go out, Mr Trump decided maintain social distancing and stay at home to try to overturn the 2020 presidential elections.

“We are pleasantly surprised at  responsibility that Donald Trump took need to the stay at home measures by the WHO during the events on Capitol Hill on January 7, 2021,” said the organization in a statement.

In a statement of his own, Donald Trump said that he preferred to stay at home, “where I can see them from the comfort of my home, than to do it out there with who knows who”.

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Mexico decided they WILL pay for the wall; Canada wants one too

After the events in Washington’s Capitol Hill, Mexico has decided that they WILL pay for the Trump wall, commonly referred to as “the wall”. And Canada wants one too.

For years Mexico has refused to be pressured by U.S. President Donald Trump to “write out a check” for the border wall, stating that it is a wall they don’t want or need. But that came to an end as the events unfolded in real time on Wednesday, January 7, 2021.

Mexico’s President, Andrés Manuel López Obrador (AMLO), said that given this week’s events in the United States and the pledge by president-elect Joe Biden to halt construction of the wall, now is the time to take action before it’s too late.

Asked as to how he intends to pay for the wall, AMLO explained it would most likely be jointly by the government and “private enterprise” and that Mexico would reimburse the United States for the about 30 miles (48 km) that has been built since 2017, with a plan to have the rest built in less than 60 days.

AMLO detailed that Mexican workers from “both sides” of the border would work around the clock on the wall project.

The President also emphasized that the purpose of the wall would change from one to keep Mexicans from crossing over to the U.S., but rather to keep protect Mexico from its neighbour.

Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said on Thursday that he would be counting the friendship and cooperation with Mexico over a wide range of political, trade, social, environmental and security interests to get a wall built across the 8,891 kilometers (5,524 miles) terrestrial boundary with the United States.

Trudeau and AMLO are expected to start talks in the coming days.

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