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Internet Argument Won Thanks to Cap Lock Key

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THE INTERNET – A heated debate online was quickly won thanks to that often overlooked left pinkie companion – caps lock! Jordan Ikmann of Toledo, Ohio was frustrated that other internet users were not responding to his bulletproof talking points and noticed they continued to express their own, lesser opinions, despite him clearly pointing out that they were fools and repeating that their opinions were obviously inferior to his own.

Things got heated quickly with all manner of foul language polluting the comment thread with attacks on the mothers and sexual preferences of the combatants. Jordan was ready to pepper his next response with more of the same but he felt he would give these mental midgets one more chance to listen to reason. So while furiously typing his response a slip of the QWERTY typing technique had him inadvertently hit the caps lock key.

“At first it made me angry when I looked up and realized I was going to have to retype my whole argument, losing even a precious second when these morons were on the ropes could ruin everything I’ve spent all afternoon debating,” Jordan said. “However, I paused before I deleted the paragraph and realized that it although it was the same points I had been making earlier it was now DOUBLED in size, DOMINATING the readers attention. It gave my words a weight and seriousness that set it apart from the other cyber clap trap that surrounded it. So I hit send.”

And hit send he did. Jaws were agape on the other terminals when they saw Jordan’s triumphant post. They were humbled. Worse. They were HUMILIATED. Jordan had bested them, there was no arguing with those BIG, BOLD, CAPITALIZED words. Any attempt to rebuke his comment was like throwing a pebble at Superman. How were their lowly lower case manifestos, littered with boring facts, sources and peer reviewed science supposed to stand next to THIS?

Jordan left us with this bit of advice “truth is, if they had found their caps lock key they might just have won but they didn’t and on that day I was the loudest. And no one beats the loudest.” He tipped his “Make America Great Again” hat to us, winked, got onto a horse and rode off into the sunset. What a leader.

Source: Thisshouldbethenews.com

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Latin America

Tesla’s Unplanned Launch of Driverless Car in Latin America Has Many Worried

Roberto Rodriguez is a worried man. Never in the past decade has he driven his car without abusing fellow drivers or getting into a scuffle with motorcyclists or pedestrians. All this because of the traffic condition in his city.

Rodriguez has written to Elon Musk, the owner of Tesla, asking if the driverless car will provide him any help in the fight on the roads or will the fight be all by himself as has been the case up to now.

Elon Musk is a busy man, but he will have to address this as soon as possible if a launch in Latin America is to be successful.

There is news coming in that a top-level meeting was called to address Shwetank’s concern and seems like Shwetank has really pushed forward India’s concern in a very effective way.

Women drivers will also be affected by the driverless car

The concern of Rodriguez is the promise made by Musk that a completely automated Tesla will be available by the end of 2018. And Musk delivers on what he promises.

Though no announcement has been made for a Latin America launch, Rodriguez and others are worried that the new type of car soon to be on the roads will alter their driving habits.

“Venting in traffic is like therapy to me. When I get home I am refreshed, got it all out of my system, you know the stress of work, the girlfriend … I am like a new man when I get home to my wife and kids,” said Rodriguez.

In fact, a recent study by the University of Argentina in Buenos Aires showed that road rage has helped reduce domestic violence. Researched Juanes Alpizar said that the numbers (of domestic violence reports) are way down, more than imagined.

Could a driverless car contribute to rising domestic violence? Alpizar answered honestly that he doesn’t know the answer to that. But if Rodriguez’s experience is any indication, it has many worried. Worried that the driverless car will not allow drivers to distress themselves and will take it out on their loved ones once they get home.

 

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Tech

E-mail Strike Looming In Canada

Canadian emails will come to a complete halt if a looming strike becomes a reality. The internet consortium said a strike will not affect international emails and warned against email scabs.

Canadian emails will come to a complete halt if a looming strike becomes a reality. The internet consortium said a strike will not affect international emails and warned against email scabs.

From the Vatican Enquirer – Direct from a page of Canada’s postal strikes, the Canadian internet consortium announced a pending e-mail strike.

Internet users across the country have been warned not to send any emails once the strike begins, as email servers around the country will either shut down completely or operate at a snail mails pace.

Negotiations are underway to avoid the strike, but sources close to the Vatican Enquirer (VE) said they sides are too far apart and a strike is inevitable.

Results of online polls are in favour of a strike, 99% of the respondents say they support the movement.

It is unclear why the strike is being called or its objective. “It’s a Canadian thing”, posted a user on the social media. Another said, “it’s aboot time, eh!”.

Experts are recommending to send all your emails before the strike, and even suggesting counseling if the strike runs into hours (like eons in Internet time).

“With this clear mandate our members have demonstrated they are in full support of their bargaining committees, and our direction in this set of negotiations,” said the head of the Canadian email strike committee, ironically through an official email.

The internet union has warned against e-mail scabs.

The Internet Consortium made it clear the strike will only affect Canadian emails,  international emails in will continue to flow in and out mailboxes on computers across the country.

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Tech

Apple Accused of Plagiarizing Jesus For Water Resistant iPhone

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The U.S. company is accused of plagiarizing Jesus for the waterproof iPhone

(Vatican Enquirer) First it was Melania Trump copying from a speech by Michelle Obama at the Republican convention, then it was the scandal that aired on Aristegui News about Mexico President Enrique Peña Nieto’s plagiarism in his university thesis, and now it turns out Apple did quite a bit of plagiarizing itself with one of the features of its newly introduced iPhone.

Tim Cook, head of Apple Inc. on Wednesday in San Francisco presented the world with its iPhone 7 that is resistant to water, a decision that could send the company into bankruptcy.

Minutes after the presentation, several priests were outraged because they believe the company stole the ‘water-resistant’ idea from Jesus and will be taking action on the matter.

“We all read the Bible and know Jesus walked on water. The waterproofing of its new phone is completely copied. It’s a shame they did not give the credit to the Lord, making us believe it their own creation. They will have to pay for the plagiarism and our lawyers have already started working on that,” an upset priest told the Vatican Enquirer.

A legal expert told the VE that if the suit is successful it could ruin the company. “I would not plagiarize anything from a person like Jesus, nobody knows what he might do,” said the expert.

Nobody at Apple is commenting on the harsh indictment. Nor has there been an ‘official’ statement from the Vatican.

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