The ONION – Cautioning the fast-food giant against cutting into their profit margins, critics warned Wednesday that a 15-dollar minimum wage would force McDonald’s to replace burger patties with robots.
“Once you hike up the minimum wage, McDonald’s will have no choice but to replace the Big Mac with an automated burger,” said Brookings Institute scholar Brendal Corrigan, insisting that market forces would drive McDonald’s to place a whirring circuit-based robot patty between two sesame seed buns.
“Activists are setting us on a path where we’ll be biting into a mess of gears, wires, and electrical components whenever we want a burger. It only makes economic sense for McDonald’s to turn to fully automated menu items.”
At press time, critics recommended McDonald’s take a gradual approach toward integrating robot burgers over the course of 10 years.