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Mick Jagger Being Held At Mexico’s Museum of Anthropology For Trying To Escape

VATICAN ENQUIRER – It was on Monday when Mick Jagger, leader singer of the Rolling Stones, visited the Museum of Anthropology and History, it seems to relive some of the happiest moments of his childhood.

Mick chatted up the custodians and guides for more than eight hours, mainly sharing some of his experiences. But, when he decided it was time to leave, Matute Salgado, guarding the doors to the museum would not let him leave.

Museum guard is not allowing Mick Jagger to leave the museum until convince he is not a museum piece trying to escape.

Museum guard Matute Salgado is not allowing Mick Jagger to leave the museum until convinced he is not a museum piece trying to escape. Sent to the Vatican Enquirer by the museum guard via Whatsapp.

The security guard at Mexico’s National Museum of Anthropology reported to his superiors that he had detained a museum piece trying to escape.

“I remember seeing a move called where the security guard discovers that the exhibits came to life. My job is to safeguard the security of the property in the museum and to fight any threat,” Matute told the Vatican Enquirer.

Matute, in a telephone interview told VE that he is waiting on his superiors to decide if the Jagger he is holding is not a museum piece, well at least not a piece at his museum and is refusing to let the septuagenarian out.

Matute said that Jagger was trying to explain who he was, his fame and so on. “Yes, he has all the facts correct, all a matter of public record, but, it didn’t mean that he is the real Mick Jagger and not a museum piece,” Matute, in his broken English, told Clara Montoya of ZNN.

So far the singer’s situation is unknown, however, some sources confirm that they have seen him behind a glass case next to Homo Sapiens.

In the movie, the characters before still again at daylight. Matute said that unless his superiors tell him otherwise, he will wait for daylight to make some decision.

This is a developing story and the VE will bring you an update (or not) of the fate of Mick Jagger and his night at the museum.

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Stomped Tomato is a curious satirical newspaper offering breaking news, political satire, comedy, investigative journalism, opinion and celebrity news. Tomate pisoteado.


Daughter finds out her uncle is her dad’s brother

STOMPED TOMATO – A growing trend in the online world are stories of family dynamics changing drastically with uncovered family relationships, such as the daughter who found that her uncle is really her father’s brother.

What will this do to the family dynamic? Reddit

Another commented that he was in a similar situation, but different, not too long along when he found that his aunt is really his mother’s sister.

“The entire family freaked out,” writes M.

Fortunately, there are a few things that could be done to preserve your family’s chemistry and dynamic.

Family dynamics can really be screwed. Take the case of a B and his wife’s family situation. B writes, “Her mom and aunt both married brothers. So my wife’s uncle (now deceased) was actually her uncle twice over. He was her uncle because her mom’s sister married him, and he was her uncle because her dad was his brother. For that matter, her aunt is also her aunt twice over.”

R writes, “I know exactly how the feeling. I just found out that my brother is my baby’s uncle, and my brother’s children are my child’s cousins. Obviously, this is a confusing time for everyone and we are navigating it as best as we can.”

A has an equally challenging situation, she writes: I just found out that my mom is actually the one who gave birth to me, and that my grandmother is actually my mom’s mom and I’m so confused and worried like what this will do I don’t know if I can see them in the same way now…”

This is very serious. This kind of experience can cause long lasting trauma.

One recommendation is to log off the internet, obviously, these people have way too much time on their hands. For those who can’t log off, you can help improve your family dynamic by going on Amazon and order lots of self-help books.

Luckily there are many treatments for this ailment being experimented with.

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Trump Says He Doesn’t Need Bolton’s Book Read To Him

Donald J. Trump has “no intention whatsoever” of having John Bolton’s book read aloud to him, Trump confirmed on Monday.

Speaking to reporters at the White House, Trump said that his daughter, Ivanka Trump, had obtained a draft manuscript of the Bolton book and had offered to read it aloud to him “like she does with all of the other books,” Trump said, according to The New Yorker.

“She reads the books to me slowly and stops when there’s a long word to tell me what it means,” Trump said. “But I told her that the Bolton book was the last book in the world that I wanted to hear.”

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Latin America

El Chapo Didn’t Want Witnesses At His Trial

The convicted drug lord known as El Chapo said on Thursday that he was “outraged” his 2019 trial had included witnesses. He also revealed that he was demanding a new trial without them.

Speaking from ADX Florence, a maximum-security facility in Colorado, the former drug kingpin complained that his trial would have resulted in a speedy acquittal had it not been for the irritating presence of witnesses, reports The New Yorker.

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