Nestlé secures exclusive contract to bottle and sell Martian water

admin-ajaxVATICAN ENQUIRER –  Nestlé announced today it has secured an exclusive contract from NASA to bottle all the water flowing on Mars.

“Finders keepers, suckers!” said Nestlé CEO Paul Bulcke before adding a “nanananabooboo!”

This is not the first time an American company has secured exclusive rights to mine a stellar body for resources.

In the 60s, Kraft secured the rights to harvest cheese from the Moon, but humanity soon discovered the Moon’s composition was not as we had long assumed, and thus Velveeta was born.

Source: Stubhill News

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