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Obama To Run For Reelection…AGAIN!?


(VATICAN ENQUIRER)  The basement of the Whitehouse, Wshington DC – This just in, President Obama plans to run…again…for the 2016 elections.

Obama has been the center of GOP attacks since his inauguration in 2008. Republicans openly express their dissatisfaction with the Obama administration’s policy decisions and take every opportunity to criticize & condemn the administration’s actions.

Does the GOP’s dissatisfaction reflect public opinion of Obama’s presidency? His reelection in 2012 suggests not.

The GOP was and still is unwaveringly against The Affordable Healthcare Act (popularly referred to as Obamacare), the president’s immigration stance, and fiscal policies to name a few.

Another fundamental argument of the GOP against President Obama is his supposedly excessive use of Executive Orders, a rule or order issued by the president to an executive branch of the government, bypassing Congress while still having the force of law. Just going by the numbers on executive orders, Obama has issued them at a lower rate than any president since Grover Cleveland, BUT the absurdity of his newly issued executive order takes relevance over the quantity issued.

Much to the dismay of Republicans across America, multiple sources within the White House have confirmed that President Obama has just issued his most controversial Executive Order to date, one that blatantly undermines the sanctity of the Constitution.

Executive Order 13697, issued yesterday, obliterates the 22nd Amendment, which sets term limits, by allowing President Obama to run for an unprecedented 3rd term. President Obama and his administration have failed to comment on the executive order but an unnamed source within the White House tells us, “Obama feels that his presidency was a complete success and a win for all Americans alike. He believes that he saved the country from imminent danger due to the previous president’s lackluster and unsatisfactory performance. He said, ‘I owe it to the American people to run for a 3rd term. I have repeatedly shown that I am the best president this great country has ever seen, it’s only right that I upgrade the Constitution by passing this executive order.'”

As an Obama supporter it saddens me to say I am disgusted at his arrogance and more than against his pompous display of power. I am unsure of how the public is to react to this but I’m sure all responsible Americans, Republicans and Democrats alike, will share in my revulsion.

I will continue to gather the facts and keep you informed as the story unfolds. Stay aware America!


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Stomped Tomato is a curious satirical newspaper offering breaking news, political satire, comedy, investigative journalism, opinion and celebrity news. Tomate pisoteado.


Joe Biden Replaces Trump’s Infamous Diet Coke Button With A Freestyle Machine

STOMPED TOMATO – Of the many of President Joe Biden’s points of business on his first day was to Diet Coke button with a Freestyle machine.

Now former President Donald Trump became fascinated with the little red button sitting on his desk in the oval office. Whenever Trump pressed it, and a valet swiftly brought in a Diet Coke on a silver platter.

“Freestyle machines are genius. One of the very greatest inventions of our modern times,” Suzie on Twitter.

While many applauded Biden’s decision, some, however, feel the freestyle machines are terrible and the president should get a fountain machine.

It is not clear what happened to the box with the red button. But what of the valet?

Sources told ST that the valet is undergoing training to make the machine is always fully stocked with soda.


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WHO congratulates Donald Trump for having carried out a coup without leaving home

While a lot of countries and international organizations condemned Wednesday’s riots in the United States Capitol, the Wordly Health Organization congratulated President Donald Trump for acting responsibly in the midst of a historic pandemic, for staging a coup from home.

Given the warnings of health authorities not to go out, Mr Trump decided maintain social distancing and stay at home to try to overturn the 2020 presidential elections.

“We are pleasantly surprised at  responsibility that Donald Trump took need to the stay at home measures by the WHO during the events on Capitol Hill on January 7, 2021,” said the organization in a statement.

In a statement of his own, Donald Trump said that he preferred to stay at home, “where I can see them from the comfort of my home, than to do it out there with who knows who”.

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Mexico decided they WILL pay for the wall; Canada wants one too

After the events in Washington’s Capitol Hill, Mexico has decided that they WILL pay for the Trump wall, commonly referred to as “the wall”. And Canada wants one too.

For years Mexico has refused to be pressured by U.S. President Donald Trump to “write out a check” for the border wall, stating that it is a wall they don’t want or need. But that came to an end as the events unfolded in real time on Wednesday, January 7, 2021.

Mexico’s President, Andrés Manuel López Obrador (AMLO), said that given this week’s events in the United States and the pledge by president-elect Joe Biden to halt construction of the wall, now is the time to take action before it’s too late.

Asked as to how he intends to pay for the wall, AMLO explained it would most likely be jointly by the government and “private enterprise” and that Mexico would reimburse the United States for the about 30 miles (48 km) that has been built since 2017, with a plan to have the rest built in less than 60 days.

AMLO detailed that Mexican workers from “both sides” of the border would work around the clock on the wall project.

The President also emphasized that the purpose of the wall would change from one to keep Mexicans from crossing over to the U.S., but rather to keep protect Mexico from its neighbour.

Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said on Thursday that he would be counting the friendship and cooperation with Mexico over a wide range of political, trade, social, environmental and security interests to get a wall built across the 8,891 kilometers (5,524 miles) terrestrial boundary with the United States.

Trudeau and AMLO are expected to start talks in the coming days.

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