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Study Finds Pregnant Women Are Not Idiots After All

Pregnant woman may actually be able to process complex information and make educated decisions, study reveals.


TORONTO, Canada – A groundbreaking new study by Canadians suggests that the brains of pregnant woman remain functional throughout the gestational period.

“We were very surprised to discover that their brains were actually very similar to the brains of non-gestating women, or adult males,” stated Dr. Hynes, who coauthored the study with her colleague, Dr. Mills, from Toronto.

This shatters many of the presuppositions that underlie conventional care for childbearing woman, which suggest that non-pregnant people use sing-song voices to present information in simple terms.

“The most startling finding from all this,” stated Dr. Hynes, “is that pregnant woman may actually be able to process complex information and make educated decisions.”

“If you add to this to a recent Flemish study that suggests mothers make decisions based on the perceived best interest of their babies”, added Dr. Mills, “this has grave implications for the societal fantasy that everyone knows how to parent your children better than you do.”

“We want to be careful about this, but it seems that expectant mothers may not need the advice of every passerby in deciding how to act while pregnant,” said Mills.

Science is now questioning the longstanding cultural belief that the best way to support new mothers is leaning into pregnant women in the grocery store, assuming a posture of shared intimacy, perhaps placing one’s hands on their sensitive, stretched-thin bellies, and then doling out advice based on what your mother-in-law always told you in 1973.

“We are now considering the possibility that the best way for pregnant mothers to make decisions about pregnancy is to receive accurate, up to date, evidence-based information from an accredited practitioner of their choosing,” states Dr. Hynes.

“Surprisingly, providing women with access to complete, nuanced information may actually lead to better decision making, and healthier, less bat-shit pregnancies.”

“We think there is a lot more research to be done,” said Hynes. “It’s frightening to think about it, but it’s possible that mothers may retain intellectual and emotional complexity throughout their lifespan, with human feelings and needs beyond fulfilling the biological imperatives of feeding and sheltering their children.”

Mills added, “Although not likely, at this point it appears to be scientifically plausible mothers may not be not just be husks of humans whose role is complete once they’ve expelled all their cuteness in the form of a little baby. ”

“We don’t really blame OBGYN’s,” reflected Hynes when questioned about how care for pregnant women has been able to remain so condescending for so long.

“But what would you assume if one of these cranky, rotund creatures walked into your office overflowing out of their choo-choo train over-alls?”

“We have to go with the evidence.”

Fiona Jager, reportering for The Lapine in Canada, in a  special to the Vatican Enquirer

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Stomped Tomato is a curious satirical newspaper offering breaking news, political satire, comedy, investigative journalism, opinion and celebrity news. Tomate pisoteado.


Old man excited to walk around changeroom naked again

OSHAWA, ON – With gyms around the province reopening, local senior citizen Waylan Marshall is relieved to no longer have to resort to walking around the house naked.

OSHAWA, ON – With gyms around the province reopening, local senior citizen Waylan Marshall is relieved to no longer have to resort to walking around the house naked.

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influencers complain because they no longer know what to live on

Influencers have again come out to complain because they are losing the shine of their luxurious lives, due to the coronavirus covid-19 pandemic, they can no longer travel, nor take photos of their food in public places or their famous selfies.

Influencers need to be helped.

Or something like that, is what some influencers wanted to say in a very interesting report from the BBC, and since we are very good vibes, we are going to summarize it completely.

But first, let’s see what the YosStop is doing in full quarantine:

Well, now it is really interesting …

A few days ago, some influencers of the greatest size (or something like that) in the world, have been complaining and complaining in the media because they can no longer leave their homes, and when they do leave, they do not generate videos or photos or content from which they all always do the same: what if the little trip, what if the coffee in Italy, what if the photo that everyone takes in France, etc, etc, etc.


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Ayer fui #Bowie para tiktok ????

A post shared by C͟͟I͟͟N͟͟T͟͟H͟͟Y͟͟A͟͟ (@lenguasdegato) on

This type of content is profitable, that is, with each photo and video that they generate, YouTube gives them some coin as well as the brands with which they come out dressed, made up or subtly thrown together.

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Study Claims Women Abandon Feminism After Finding Meaningful Relationships With Men

Women who remain die-hard feminists well into adulthood are oftentimes the least desirable specimens, science now claims.

“The only relationships they have are often ones with other females who subscribe to the same strict ideologies, and serve as echo chambers for extremist thought. The stereotype of overweight, unattractive, bitter, resentful hags with a chip on their shoulder isn’t really too far from the truth,” said Sheila Baker, director of the Garrison Institute located in Langford, Mississippi.

“Women who quickly abandon feminism are just happier in the long run,” Harman told National Report. “Once they engage in a healthy relationship with a member of the opposite sex, 78% of women realize that they had been brainwashed via college campuses and social media. They’re ashamed of having associated with a mob of mentally-ill whiners and seek to distance themselves  from that lifestyle as much as possible.”

After graduating high school, Sheila Baker was accepted into at a well-known liberal college located in the Pacific Northwest, attended primarily by the offspring of affluent families. Even then, feminism was the social justice ’cause du jour’ amongst bleeding-heart upper class young adults with no worldly perspective or experience. “It’s true. I identified as a feminist in college,” Baker blushingly confessed. “It’s really rather embarrassing to admit now. I marched in the marches. I blogged with the best of them. I was full of entitlement and resentment towards what I thought at the time was the source of all the world’s ills: The Patriarchy. In particular, white males. The only real exposure I had to the less fortunate was through my textbooks. Instructors basically fanned the flames by telling us that all sources of oppression and strife within’ the world were due to privileged Caucasians.

You get a bunch of impressionable white kids together who are in a rebellious frame of mind and tell them that the families they grew up with are basically responsible for everything that is wrong with the world and I can guarantee the outcome is not going to be a healthy one.”

And the horror stories don’t stop there says Sheila, who claims she has heard thousands of stories which ring similarly to her own. And far too many of those tales result in permanent damage to the woman, her personal life, and familial relationships.

Barker went on to elaborate upon one particular instance in which a woman became so wrapped up in feminism that she was disowned by her family, eventually leading to her untimely demise at the hands of an intentional overdose.

“We’ll call this woman K.C. out of respect,” Sheila began. “We were close friends in college, and even by my own admittedly very liberal standards, she was quite extreme. Always talking about how men should be castrated and put in labor camps. She updated her social media with misandrist hate speech, and even went onto violently attack her younger brother when he accidentally misgendered one of her friends.

During this time K.C. intentionally gained 200 pounds in what she called her fight against beauty stereotypes. What was once a beautiful, attractive young girl had permanently mutilated herself with facial tattoos, piercings, and morbid obesity.”

Sheila Baker will be releasing her findings in an upcoming interview with OUT Magazine, as well as a 30 state tour to sign the accompanying book which goes into even more detail as to why young women fall into the treacherous trap of liberalism, and how to reclaim their lives from commie parasites, and other damaging ideologies which prey on a misguided desire to make the world a better place, all while paving the hell.

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