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Walk Naked In Canada Day

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VATICAN ENQUIRER – A movement has begun in the Canada asking women to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.

Next Saturday, at 3:00 P.M. Eastern Time, all women are being asked to do their part. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort, depending on weather conditions.

Similar events will be occuring in the United States. Organizers hope that women in Mexico and all the way to Argentina will participate.

As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked and if he does, he must commit suicide.

All patriotic men are asked to step out  in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not Muslim terrorist sympathizers.

Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your patriotism. The Canadian government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

P.S. It is your patriotic duty to inform others. If you don’t like and share this, your just not right in the head.

Source: Justintrudeaunews.com; Snopes.com

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Stomped Tomato is a curious satirical newspaper offering breaking news, political satire, comedy, investigative journalism, opinion and celebrity news. Tomate pisoteado.

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People

Daughter finds out her uncle is her dad’s brother

STOMPED TOMATO – A growing trend in the online world are stories of family dynamics changing drastically with uncovered family relationships, such as the daughter who found that her uncle is really her father’s brother.

What will this do to the family dynamic? Reddit

Another commented that he was in a similar situation, but different, not too long along when he found that his aunt is really his mother’s sister.

“The entire family freaked out,” writes M.

Fortunately, there are a few things that could be done to preserve your family’s chemistry and dynamic.

Family dynamics can really be screwed. Take the case of a B and his wife’s family situation. B writes, “Her mom and aunt both married brothers. So my wife’s uncle (now deceased) was actually her uncle twice over. He was her uncle because her mom’s sister married him, and he was her uncle because her dad was his brother. For that matter, her aunt is also her aunt twice over.”

R writes, “I know exactly how the feeling. I just found out that my brother is my baby’s uncle, and my brother’s children are my child’s cousins. Obviously, this is a confusing time for everyone and we are navigating it as best as we can.”

A has an equally challenging situation, she writes: I just found out that my mom is actually the one who gave birth to me, and that my grandmother is actually my mom’s mom and I’m so confused and worried like what this will do I don’t know if I can see them in the same way now…”

This is very serious. This kind of experience can cause long lasting trauma.

One recommendation is to log off the internet, obviously, these people have way too much time on their hands. For those who can’t log off, you can help improve your family dynamic by going on Amazon and order lots of self-help books.

Luckily there are many treatments for this ailment being experimented with.

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Politics

WHO congratulates Donald Trump for having carried out a coup without leaving home

While a lot of countries and international organizations condemned Wednesday’s riots in the United States Capitol, the Wordly Health Organization congratulated President Donald Trump for acting responsibly in the midst of a historic pandemic, for staging a coup from home.

Given the warnings of health authorities not to go out, Mr Trump decided maintain social distancing and stay at home to try to overturn the 2020 presidential elections.

“We are pleasantly surprised at  responsibility that Donald Trump took need to the stay at home measures by the WHO during the events on Capitol Hill on January 7, 2021,” said the organization in a statement.

In a statement of his own, Donald Trump said that he preferred to stay at home, “where I can see them from the comfort of my home, than to do it out there with who knows who”.

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Politics

Mexico decided they WILL pay for the wall; Canada wants one too

After the events in Washington’s Capitol Hill, Mexico has decided that they WILL pay for the Trump wall, commonly referred to as “the wall”. And Canada wants one too.

For years Mexico has refused to be pressured by U.S. President Donald Trump to “write out a check” for the border wall, stating that it is a wall they don’t want or need. But that came to an end as the events unfolded in real time on Wednesday, January 7, 2021.

Mexico’s President, Andrés Manuel López Obrador (AMLO), said that given this week’s events in the United States and the pledge by president-elect Joe Biden to halt construction of the wall, now is the time to take action before it’s too late.

Asked as to how he intends to pay for the wall, AMLO explained it would most likely be jointly by the government and “private enterprise” and that Mexico would reimburse the United States for the about 30 miles (48 km) that has been built since 2017, with a plan to have the rest built in less than 60 days.

AMLO detailed that Mexican workers from “both sides” of the border would work around the clock on the wall project.

The President also emphasized that the purpose of the wall would change from one to keep Mexicans from crossing over to the U.S., but rather to keep protect Mexico from its neighbour.

Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said on Thursday that he would be counting the friendship and cooperation with Mexico over a wide range of political, trade, social, environmental and security interests to get a wall built across the 8,891 kilometers (5,524 miles) terrestrial boundary with the United States.

Trudeau and AMLO are expected to start talks in the coming days.

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