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William Shatner To Help Canada Reclaim Its Role As A World Leader

Canadians have to understand that war is sometimes unavoidable!

VATICAN ENQUIRER – William Shatner, better known for his portrayal of James T. Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise, in the Star Trek franchise, is being called into action, to help Canada reclaim its role as a world leader.

Shatner, a Canadian who made it big time in the United States, is possibly the only solution to Canada’s image around the world, according to Jean Chrétien, a former Liberal prime minister of Canada (1993-2003).

Star_Trek_William_ShatnerChrétien said, in the mid-1940s, Canada was a principal founder of the United Nations and a Canadian drafted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights; in 1957, the role of Lester Pearson, then minister of external affairs, earned him the Nobel Peace Prize for developing a solution to end the Suez Canal crisis; under Prime Minister Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada pursued independent foreign policy; and Prime Minister Brian Mulroney and Joe Clark, his foreign affairs minister, took the lead in the struggle against apartheid and the movement to free Mr. Mandela.

However, since then something has happened to Canada’s international reputation.

“I fear it has been altered and damaged for a long time and the only person who can fix it is Kirk, sorry, Shatner,” said Chrétien.

In coming to terms with reality, Chrétien said Canadians have to understand that peaceful dialogue does not always work. War is sometimes unavoidable.

With Shatner’s help, “Let’s take back our place in the world,” said the former Prime Minister.

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Stomped Tomato is a curious satirical newspaper offering breaking news, political satire, comedy, investigative journalism, opinion and celebrity news. Tomate pisoteado.

Politics

Joe Biden Replaces Trump’s Infamous Diet Coke Button With A Freestyle Machine

STOMPED TOMATO – Of the many of President Joe Biden’s points of business on his first day was to Diet Coke button with a Freestyle machine.

Now former President Donald Trump became fascinated with the little red button sitting on his desk in the oval office. Whenever Trump pressed it, and a valet swiftly brought in a Diet Coke on a silver platter.

“Freestyle machines are genius. One of the very greatest inventions of our modern times,” Suzie on Twitter.

While many applauded Biden’s decision, some, however, feel the freestyle machines are terrible and the president should get a fountain machine.

It is not clear what happened to the box with the red button. But what of the valet?

Sources told ST that the valet is undergoing training to make the machine is always fully stocked with soda.

 

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Politics

WHO congratulates Donald Trump for having carried out a coup without leaving home

While a lot of countries and international organizations condemned Wednesday’s riots in the United States Capitol, the Wordly Health Organization congratulated President Donald Trump for acting responsibly in the midst of a historic pandemic, for staging a coup from home.

Given the warnings of health authorities not to go out, Mr Trump decided maintain social distancing and stay at home to try to overturn the 2020 presidential elections.

“We are pleasantly surprised at  responsibility that Donald Trump took need to the stay at home measures by the WHO during the events on Capitol Hill on January 7, 2021,” said the organization in a statement.

In a statement of his own, Donald Trump said that he preferred to stay at home, “where I can see them from the comfort of my home, than to do it out there with who knows who”.

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Mexico decided they WILL pay for the wall; Canada wants one too

After the events in Washington’s Capitol Hill, Mexico has decided that they WILL pay for the Trump wall, commonly referred to as “the wall”. And Canada wants one too.

For years Mexico has refused to be pressured by U.S. President Donald Trump to “write out a check” for the border wall, stating that it is a wall they don’t want or need. But that came to an end as the events unfolded in real time on Wednesday, January 7, 2021.

Mexico’s President, Andrés Manuel López Obrador (AMLO), said that given this week’s events in the United States and the pledge by president-elect Joe Biden to halt construction of the wall, now is the time to take action before it’s too late.

Asked as to how he intends to pay for the wall, AMLO explained it would most likely be jointly by the government and “private enterprise” and that Mexico would reimburse the United States for the about 30 miles (48 km) that has been built since 2017, with a plan to have the rest built in less than 60 days.

AMLO detailed that Mexican workers from “both sides” of the border would work around the clock on the wall project.

The President also emphasized that the purpose of the wall would change from one to keep Mexicans from crossing over to the U.S., but rather to keep protect Mexico from its neighbour.

Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said on Thursday that he would be counting the friendship and cooperation with Mexico over a wide range of political, trade, social, environmental and security interests to get a wall built across the 8,891 kilometers (5,524 miles) terrestrial boundary with the United States.

Trudeau and AMLO are expected to start talks in the coming days.

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